How many times have we found ourselves in a hopeless situation when we were betrayed and abandoned, when love turned its back on us, not knowing how to get over a breakup?
It’s the feeling when you fly with your wings spread wide, and suddenly you hit the ground, so you don’t know what happened to you. Surely each of us has gone through that bitter experience of breaking up, but we have also learned a life lesson: how to suffer as little as possible when the end comes. If you are in that whirlpool and there are no lessons yet, we offer you a few tips on how to get over it.
Every breakup is difficult, painful, unbearable, but it mostly depends on how we accept it. However, grief also has its duration. The solution to the problem lies there, perhaps just around the corner.
There is no mathematical formula or magic wand which can help us get over a breakup, no matter if the love lasted for a short time or was in the long run.
The end of a love affair is difficult, especially when a huge amount of emotion is invested in it, when we give 101% of ourselves and in the end we get nothing. No wonder this topic is so popular! To stop you from falling into depression and shedding tears for the rest of your life, we offer you a couple of practical tips on how to get over the love breakup, and make the scars less visible or completely invisible. Well, nothing lasts forever, even the pain after the end…
How love works before and after
Before we practically explain how to get over a breakup, let’s see why we suffer so much when it’s over.
When love happens, especially in the beginning, a miracle happens in our head and body. In fact, it’s just infatuation! Suddenly we can do everything, it seems to us that we could fly if we wanted to. In our stomachs, a million butterflies are performing a show, our legs are kneeling, and reason is no longer how it should be. There is a complete chaos, but the good one – the one that gives you fuel and energy for everything.
When the end happens, then all the boats sink, all the butterflies leave you, there is a collapse in your head. Suddenly the picture becomes different, we are hurt, often feel betrayed, angry, indignant. The questions arise: “How to proceed, how without him?” “How can I forget him?” or “Why is this happening to me?”. Then we need to know how to forget and forgive and what to do after the breakup.
How to get over a breakup using our your brain and not your heart
We were all once abandoned, we mourned, believed that it was the end of the world, and eventually got over it.
Breakup can make you a stronger, firmer and more determined woman, it is just a matter of how much you want it.
So turn off the emotions, and turn on the little gray cells because there is a solution. Read a couple of tips with which every breakup will be a piece of cake for you.
Spend time outside
Instead of sitting at home and despairing over your destiny, try to spend your free time in the fresh air with your friends. You’ll see, time will pass quickly, and you will use your day wisely and forget about the breakup. Good company guarantees you a good time, so do not hesitate to use it.
Pride is the solution
Pride will help you find a way to get over a breakup, you just need to point it in the right direction. Keep it to yourself, don’t call your ex-boyfriend, don’t send text messages, messages over your friends or follow him, by no means. Focus your emotions on something useful to you. For example, read a good book or go to the gym, visit friends you may have neglected because of him. In any case, in order to overcome the breakup, use all possible means. Show yourself and others your strength and power, activate your pride, be above your pain.
Do not look for the reason
Never think about why the breakup happened. It happened because it should have happened! Maybe your story was part of karmic love. Do not look for the culprits in yourself or in him, because the real reason will never be clear to you. Don’t waste your time on questions: “What, how, why?” Instead, ask yourself what’s next after the breakup. It is best to tell yourself that it is exactly how it should have happened and in time that sentence will be etched in your memory, and you will forget that you used to love him once.
If you are clearly informed that the relationship is over, accept it and move on.
There is also a variant when you are told in a twisted form that there was a split like “I need some space”, “I’m not good enough for you” or the worst “The problem is in me“. In any case, be realistic and understand the essence – your relationship has come to an end.
Without self-pity, please
If you are the type of woman who likes to feel sorry for yourself, maybe he was right after all, to break up the relationship. Self-pity is not good!
Never feel sorry for yourself, because in that way you will not find a way to get over your ex, and you will look like a poor girl to those around you. The feeling of self-pity is for the weak, not for you.
People lose dear people or some other important things, so they do not bring themselves into a state of self-pity. My dear all, turn off this feeling of lamentation completely. That’s not the way to get over a boyfriend! If you happen to fall into this state, press the RESET button immediately.
Do not exaggerate it
It is very important that when a breakup happens, you realize that you are at a profit, not at a loss. Do not idealize your ex, his appearance, qualities, your love or whatever you have, but be realistic, because if it had been good, it would have lasted. The essence of that sentence is very important when breaking up a love affair! The sooner you understand it, the sooner you will forget him. You are not the only one who is left, and many others have survived, so will you.
Don’t let a breakup upset you, both mentally and physically. Take a deep breath and step up with your head held high into a new day, ready for some new love, because sadness lasts only as long as we allow it.
Stay single for a while after breakup
Don’t rush into a new relationship and don’t try to find a replacement for him at the first party, because love has no reserve. It will happen when the right moment comes, maybe where you don’t expect it. Let’s say, on the Internet.
Relax after the breakup, enjoy your solitude, rejoice in each new day, the little things that surround you, and you were not even aware of them. Spend time with your family because they will understand you best. Cool your head, don’t think about it, open your heart and let all the sadness go away. Build a healthy foundation for a new love.
Breakup will help you love yourself more
The role of ego and self-confidence is very important in moments of breaking up, and that is why you should work on yourself. Love yourselves, emphasize your virtues, love your flaws, because if you love yourself enough, others will love you, too. Very simple and easy – the most important thing is what kind of image you send to others about yourself, and therefore just be brave.
9 proven methods on how to get over an ex-boyfriend
After a breakup, it is always the hardest thing to realize that life goes on. Nothing stops because our relationship “broke”, we just need to accept the fact that we didn’t love in vain and that we have a long and beautiful story behind us. When the end of “once-in-a-hundred-years love” happens, there is usually a period when we feel lonely, abandoned, less valuable, occupied with the question of how to get over our ex-boyfriend.
The example of a girl who was abandoned after ten years of love, and who bravely moved on, convinced me that the breakup does not have to be catastrophic, but I learned a lesson from it. When I asked her how she got over the breakup, she replied:
“I convinced myself that it was not my luck and that I should look for it at another address”
After breaking up a long relationship, the most important thing is to repair the consequences of the end of love, see where you are now and find out what happens after the breakup. Here are a couple of proven and tested ways that are very important for the moment when you are left alone:
1. Focus only on yourself, take care of yourself, your health, your appearance and mind. Try to reconnect with yourself because this is your ideal opportunity. Love yourself again and find out what you really want. Change your hairstyle, become a shopaholic, change everything you want about yourself, just do everything to please yourself. And even lie on the couch all day if that helps. Be selfish.
2. Forget and forgive, because that is one of the healthiest ways to get over it. If you don’t do that, breaking up will be a nightmare that is hard to get out of. The worst thing that can happen to you is a feeling of contempt. Don’t do that because you will despise your past and your love. Come to your senses and gather all your strength to forgive, so your heart will be able to love again. Don’t argue about it with others, do it with yourself.
3. Don’t look for him, don’t call and don’t beg him to come back, because if he rejects you again, your sorrow will be even greater. Trying to “patch” a relationship is the worst way to get over a breakup. There is probably no help here, because once it breaks, it will break again. GIVE UP THE IDEA OF BEING A DUCT TAPE.
4. Do not communicate with him or his close friends. Isolate yourself from him. Try to forget him as soon as possible, if necessary, delete his phone number, do not go to places where he is, avoid meeting him for a while, because that way it will be easier for you to forget him.
5. Don’t count the days of loneliness, don’t count the days from the breakup, rule out the possibility that you’ll be together again.
6. Don’t force the story of memories! It will only make matters worse after the breakup. Erase all memories of him. It’s not as easy as pressing the DELETE button, but it’s something you have to try to find a way out and a way to get over it.
7. Be optimistic, believe in a better tomorrow, in new love. You should by no means become caustic and jealous of someone else’s happiness, because that feeling will completely “fry” you. That feeling is the most common after the breakup, so take care not to get into that trap.
8. Seek the help of a friend or professional if the breakup has left deep traces. Don’t be ashamed – it’s all for people.
9. Feel free to cry out a few rounds. Don’t hide your feelings, if crying will help you get rid of your pain and find your way after the breakup. Remember, you are not a robot. However, that love lasted, so it deserves to shed a few tears.
Get over a breakup with a new love!
Breakup is like a signpost towards gaining maturity and preparation to love again, to surrender again, but this time to the right one. Sadness, pain, disappointment, hurt pride, anger – everything disappears when a new love appears in your life. Then the breakup of the previous relationship is looked on with a smile, and the question “How to get over the end?” is replaced by the question: “My God, what was I thinking?”
Believe me – some new guy will wake up all the volcanoes in you again, make butterflies chaotic in your stomach, twist your brain so that you won’t know your name and make you nervous before the first date. It is the solution to all women’s problems and the best way to get over a breakup. New love is like an antidepressant! So learn in time to recognize signals that someone likes you!
Indulge in a new love, do not build it on the ruins of the previous one, do not compare them, do not measure. Let him love you, raise you from the ashes again. Believe in yourself and in the new love, and give it a chance.
When everything passes and when you find a way to get over a breakup, when you forget your ex and heal from the disease called “the end of love”, you will realize that nothing is eternal and impossible. Just like love, sorrow has its expiration date. A poet put it nicely:
“The ends are spent,
The beginnings always last.
A new beginning,
That’s what is in the end!”
The end of a love means the beginning of a new one, doesn’t it?