You fell in love, but your boyfriend is from another city or country? Or you had to separate because of business commitments? Learn how to overcome separation and strengthen your relationship.
A long distance relationship is difficult and requires a lot of effort, but if there is love between you, it is possible. Moreover, it has its advantages over the classic relationship!
Long Distance Relationship = Internet Acquaintance?
First of all, we need to explain these two terms that many put in the same basket, and yet there is a difference between them.
Internet acquaintances are not relationships, nor do they necessarily have to become. But they can be an introduction to a relationship. Did we confuse you? Here is the explanation.
Why is this term confused with long distance relationships? For the simple reason that we usually meet people who are not from our city, or even the country, chatting on social networks and sites.
We make small routines, we often hear and write to each other, feelings develop, we constantly share our everyday life with someone and we start to consider it a relationship.
What do experts think about Internet dating?
In fact, with the use of new technology and the modern age, such acquaintances are no longer unusual and, on the contrary, many relationships nowadays start just like this. What experts warn us about are fantasies that we can create ourselves based on data (true or false) given to us by another person.
We should be careful and save ourselves by first checking if our partner is lying to us, maybe he is corresponding with other girls in the same way and the like. So it would be helpful to read some tips on good and successful Internet dating.
On the other hand, we have a long distance relationship. In this kind of relationship, we really met our partner, we saw him… The reason for distance can be living in different cities or countries.
And it can happen that one of the partners got a job in another place, so you separate for that reason. In that case, you are wondering how to make a long distance relationship work?
It is not impossible, but the precondition is that love is strong and mutual. Besides, in a relationship like this, you have to have patience and trust.
In such cases, the Internet is only a means of communication for partners and a mitigating circumstance because they can hear and see each other regularly.
Tips if You Are in a Long Distance Relationship
The first and foremost thing to do is to define the seriousness of the relationship. Is it just a passing summer adventure or something more serious? Are you both willing to do your best to endure a temporary separation? To maintain a long distance relationship, you really need an open conversation at the very beginning.
If possible, make a clear plan when you will see each other and for how long you will be separated.
And beware, psychologists warn that if we are prone to entering into long distance relationships – we may have a fear of getting closer.
Honesty and trust are the keys for the survival of long distance relationships. Without drama, jealousy, spite… Work on yourself and eradicate such things. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to be blind, a little caution would not hurt. Basically, female intuition will probably never betray you, so trust it.
What Experts Say
Experts who have researched relationships and long-distance love say that in such cases, there is a danger of idealizing a partner. We rarely see each other for only a short time, and it is somehow logical that we want to present ourselves to him in the best light, isn’t it?
The same goes for men. The thing is that in those circumstances we completely ignore some little things or his bad habits because we do not want to waste precious time, but it is very likely that in everyday life with him, it would really bother us.
That is why we should try to notice things like this, but not in order to distract us from our partner, but to accept him as such, as soon as possible, so that we would not be disappointed later.
Psychologists say that this type of relationship is complex and requires much more effort, investment, and even money than a relationship in which you are constantly with a partner, but it still has some advantages.
The lack of physical intimacy is compensated by deeper conversations, and this leads to a greater psychological connection.
Sometimes, the fact that we are constantly with a partner does not necessarily mean that we spend quality time together.
Long-distance love gives you this: wonderful moments when you are together, unencumbered by some unimportant little things, and maximum effort to have good time together. And when you are separated, your communication will be much stronger, deeper, and of better quality.
Experts do not advise this type of relationship to people who are prone to jealousy and possessiveness, because they will not endure and will only accumulate bad feelings for themselves and their partner. Also, long distance relationships are not for adventurers.
Experiences With Long Distance Relationship
Those who opt for this type of relationship have their reasons for doing so. For some, the situation and events are inevitable, for others, it is a pure choice and a desire to cultivate distance love.
There are as many different reasons as there are different experiences.
For some, this is an ideal type of relationship, while others end up hurt because they find out that their partner has been corresponding and seeing others as well. Or the saying “far from the eyes, far from the heart” is simply confirmed, and the emotions themselves fade over time.
We cannot give you universal advice because there is no such piece of advice. It all depends on you and your character, desires… as well as your partner’s. And the influence of various sets of circumstances cannot be diminished.
Sometimes it can be helpful to find out that someone else is in a similar situation, because in that way we can share opinions, experiences, fears, desires, knowing that the other side will understand us because she herself was in that type of relationship.
If you do not have such a person in your environment, the Internet can be the real salvation because there are numerous forums where various topics are discussed, including this. That is why we recommend that you take a look at other people’s experiences as well.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Long Distance Relationship
Maybe it would not be a bad idea to compile a list of reasons “for” and “against” long distance relationships, for those ladies who are still reluctant and not sure whether they should start such a story.
So, the disadvantages of such relationships could be:
- High costs – The financial aspect cannot be ignored either because you or your partner will need money for road trips to another city or country.
- Painful partings – If you bond, it will be very difficult for you every time you have to part and each meeting will seem too short.
- Waiting for the next meeting – That is why we wrote at the very beginning of the text to arm yourself with patience.
- The idealization of partners and unrealistic fantasies, which we have already talked about and explained.
- Job –It will condition you with time and money, you will have to organize yourself according to your job and plan when you will see your loved one.
But not everything is so black: here is a list of the advantages of long distance relationship:
- This kind of relationship will certainly improve your communication with your partner and you will be able to understand each other much better.
- You will build mutual trust, because you will certainly not make drama about everything, be jealous and control your partner all the time, etc. You just have to trust him.
- The third advantage is that, when you see each other, you will spend quality time together, precisely because you know that you don’t have too much of it and you will try to make it beautiful and unforgettable. You will not waste time on nonsense.
- Enjoying sex should also be mentioned (we don’t think that couples who see each other every day don’t enjoy it, but the time spent waiting to see each other can turn into a sweet longing). In this way, tension appears and the desire for a partner intensifies.
In the end, it should be said that you will probably appreciate this type of relationship more, especially because of your investment of time, feelings, money, and everything else. And somehow it is logical that just because of everything you need to give you will not engage in a long distance relationship with anyone.
How to Keep a Long Distance Relationship Alive
If you have already made a decision to embark on this type of relationship, then it would be good to read the following lines, where we will give you a couple of tips and tricks on how to keep it alive and avoid monotony.
- Always be honest: say everything that bothers you. Talk honestly and openly about everything, pay attention to his wishes and objections, adopt them, and respect them.
- Communicate every day: wish him good morning, talk at the end of the day and share impressions, beautiful moments but also problems you had at work, at home… You will connect even more that way, because you share everyday life with someone and that is no small thing, as much as it seems so.
- Send gifts and letters: it is true that we live in the modern age, where you can write messages to your loved one in many ways, but just imagine his facial expression when he opens the mailbox and sees a gift or letter from you! It will instantly make his day, he will appreciate your effort and attention… We all need that, don’t we?
- Don’t neglect your social life: by no means allow yourself to get into depression or some other bad condition while waiting for your reunion. As much as you miss him, separation will be easier overcome with friends, and going out will also help you maintain independence and self-awareness. In order not to get into the situation “I neglected everything because of you” one day… Just as we need a partner in life, so we need family and friends. Pay attention to your dear people. You don’t have to have a crazy night out if you’re not that type, but you can certainly enjoy dinner at a restaurant or a casual chat with a friend at a coffee shop.
In the end, don’t forget: every type of relationship requires effort, attention, and a lot of love. This also applies to your long distance relationship. Don’t be afraid of disappointment and risk – it can also happen to you in a normal relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a try, does it?